Tuesday, May 5, 2009

My book the kidnappe?

There once was a town called Shellymin it was a very peaceful place, everyone knew each other, they were all friends. It was a little island, most people would go there for a holiday even though others stayed there for a lifetime. You had to go on a ferry to get to the island, it costed $5 per person but if you were a homeowner it would only cost $2. The trees were very good to climb on and that’s why all the children loved the tree’s there. There was also a huge lake that you were aloud to swim in but you couldn’t go past the poles that were in the water because that’s where the fish swam. All the houses stood in a row like soldiers, and every house that was built was to be made out of wood because the man who owned this island loved houses made out of wood, you also couldn’t paint them, but if you had permission you could.


In this little island there lived a rich family, this family was called the Charlson family. Steve Charlson was in the company that worked for the island and he had a wife and four children. He had light brown hair and eyes the colour of the sea. His wife, Alice was a Nurse at the Shellymin’s Children’s Hospital and was thin and beautiful with her long golden hair and bright blue eyes. Their eldest child was Jake Charlson, who was seventeen and nearly going to collage to train to become a teacher. With his good looks and his sweet and sensitive personality he got him self a girlfriend . Next in child birth was Jessica Charlson or you might say Jess, as she was known to be called, she had long brown hair, a few freckles and bright blue eyes the colour of her mum’s, she was pretty, bright and was 13. After Jess came Maxwell Charlson but he preferred to be called Max, Max was a bully at school and had very little friends, he was 11, stubborn and had shaggy, muddy brown hair and a gloomy face. The very youngest of the children was Caroline Charlson, the 4 year old, cute little angel, at least that’s what her parents thought of her, the true Caroline was a clever, tough, out going little rascal, she was cute with her puppy dog eyes and curly blonde hair on the outside but the real her was on the inside.





Then there was there house that was very beautiful, it had a balcony outside every room and it was a 3-storie mansion that looked over the lake, it was LOVELY! Each room had a safe in it just incase they would have a brake-in. In Jesse’s safe there was her money her jewelry and her rare CD’s. In Jake’s safe there was a book called “How To Be A Teacher” there was also a trophy from the Spelling Bee contest when he was 7. In Max’s safe there was an invitation to the bad boys gang party and a card that said: you are now an official bad boy gangster, and a CD signed by the country’s best rapper. Then last is Caroline she had a karate medal and karate clothes from her secret lessons, and a medal from the beauty contest she won when she was 3 and her first lost tooth from a few weeks ago. In the living room they had a flat Plasma screen TV in front of their couch and a coffee table just beside it, they also had all around sound to make the TV sound realistic. In the Kitchen they had a glass table, some cupboards and lots of top class electronics. In Jake’s bedroom, he had a bed, a desk with a 24 inch screen Macintosh computer on it, a TV and a walk in wardrobe. In Jess’s room she had a mirror, some posters of Avril Lavigne and Brad Pit, she had a bunk bed with a desk underneath instead of a bed and a 30 inch TV. In Max’s room there was a rock ‘n’ roll guitar tickets to a concert that’s called: ‘rocking my life’ CD’s for beginner rockers. Also a Compaq laptop and a rockstar book. His bed was a big one that had a black blanket and in big white letters it said this: ROCKSTAR! He also had a white plain pillow. On the wall there was posters of famous rocker’s. In Caroline’s room there was a little bed on the wall there was a painting off a mermaid sitting on a rock then in the corner was a little table with a mirror on it and some ‘learning to read’ books and the carpet was a little pink and red stripes carpet then in the mum and dad’s room there was a king sized bed a mirror on each side of the bed there was a bedside table and then there was a door that led to the bathroom. There was also a indoor pool with lots of toys.


The charltons’s also had a trampoline that floats on the water. Upstairs was a play room with playmobile Lego action figures mini go-karts a little race track and two mote-control cars then there was a spare room for guest’s and a cupboard where all the mum and dad’s trophies and medals. “I’m going to the pub you look after the kids ok?” Said Steve as he went out the door.


“Ok, darling.” She said as he closed the door behind him.


When he got to the pub he said “Hi Moe, give me a beer or two.” In 25 minutes Steve had drunken 12 cups of beers and a bottle of wine. Not surprisingly Steve got drunk, he was so drunk he couldn’t drive the way home and had to take a taxi.


“Hi honey, I’m home!” Steve said as he walked into the room with a slam behind him as he closed the door.


“Shh, don’t wake up the kids!” Alice whispered. ”What took you so long, Steve?”


“Um, uh, can I lie down for a second?”


“Oh no, don’t say you got drunk again! How many beers did you have?”


“Just 12.”


“Just 12? You know what could happen if you got drunk like the time you nearly killed someone with a chair. Where is the car, Steve? You didn’t take a taxi home, did you? Now the car’s still at the pub!”


“Just calm down, I can explain.”


‘Explain what Steve? You know what, this is just going too far, I’m going have to leave. You obviously do not know how to set an example, these are our children Steve! And if you can’t take care of them, then I will! Tomorrow morning I’m taking Caroline and Jessica and leaving this house for good.


“Fine, let it be that way! You maniac!”


“Me? You’re the maniac! No, even worse, you’re an imbecile!”


“NO! Don’t have a divorce!” Shouted Caroline while she jumped out from behind the sofa.


“It’s not what you think.” Alice said in a calm voice.


Then max jumped out from behind the sofa and said “But then why did you say your taking Jess and Caroline and leaving for good?”


“Look everyone just go to bed and in the morning Alice will take Jess and Caroline ok?” Said Steve angrily.


Then Jake slowly gets up from behind the sofa and said “No! It’s not fair soon I’m going to college and won’t be able to see you again!”


“Don’t worry Jake we’ll visit you alright?”








In the morning at 10 o’clock Alice, Jess and Caroline got up had breakfast and then had a little play but Alice looked for a house then she found a lovely house just like there’s so Alice, Jess and Caroline went to have a look at it while Max, Jake and Steve stayed home. When all the boys woke up they had breakfast Max had some Weet-Bix with sultana’s on it and milk, Jake had nutigrain and Steve had some yogurt then they started cleaning up all the girl’s room first they painted Caroline’s room white then they took her bed away and then her table and the mirror then they took all of Jesse’s stuff and they took the posters of her wall. They took her TV away and her table and bunk bed. When a big truck came they put everything in the truck and the truck drived off to give the furniture to Alice and the kids. For lunch they all had some sandwiches because no wanted a really good lunch they didn’t feel like it then Steve said “ok who wants to go get spoilt maybe go in the pool have a party just to get cheered up?”


Both boys said “yeah!” The next day it was their school day the school was called ‘New Life, the school was 5 minutes away it had a playground with 2 swing’s a slide a pole to slide down and that was all there was also a sandpit, there was pre-primary to high school there was a library and a swimming pool the principal was called Mrs. Marble she had a son called Mr.Marble his first name was Alex he was my teacher everyone in the class liked him because whenever your good he will give you fake money then you can buy lollies off him and whoever has the most money at the end of the year will get 2 bags of lollies. Then the school library teacher was called Mrs.Hudnker she taught the year 1 to year 2’s to read then she read stories to the year 3’s to year 7’s then she would give us worksheets and pencils. The school was very nice everyone liked it.





but one-day when the dad was resting a man called John that was going to get kicked out of the island didn’t want to get kicked out and also he wanted their money (with ‘their’ I mean the rich family) so he got a match stick lit it and started a fire…The fire got bigger and bigger by the time the fire was as big as the door John had gone to the place where firemen worked he was back with a fireman suit. He ran into the house and took Steve, Steve woke up shocked. John then took Steve to the his house Steve then shouted “where is my kid’s go get my kids!” but the man called John laughed and said “well only if you let me back into here,you didn’t really think I was a fireman did you? Haha” Steve stared at John then said “look John you are band but if you save my kids then I’ll let you stay. You in?” “Deal” said John with a smirk on his face but first John took Steve to a chair and put sticky tape on Steve’s mouth and tied him onto the chair then John went to go for the kids but when John came back he said “the kids weren’t there” Steve frowned and said “your just trying to scare me get my kids right now!” John smiled again “look pal there not there and I’ve done want you wanted me to do so you better let me stay” “NO WAY!” said Steve in a angry voice “ok then Steve we will do it the hard way” John took out a knife and was just going to stab Steve when the door smashed and a log came flying in then guess who opened the door.


It was Max, Jake, Bell, Alex and Jessie and all the other kids then Max said “SAVE IT JOHN IF YOUR GOING TO HURT MY DAD YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME AND EVERYONE ELSE!” then all the kids got out their weapons some had baseball bats some had tennis rackets some had logs. However, Steve did not want to risk his children so Steve said, “NO kids don’t! You will die please kids!” but the kids did not listen then Jake said “dad you have done everything for us like when your working and I want to play footy with you because no one else does you will just play with me and do your work later” then all the kids nodded then Jessie said “so now we are doing something for you!” but John wouldn’t allow this so he pointed up they gun and loaded it, Steve was signaling to go home but this time the children obeyed.





Chapter two


The Clever, tough outgoing little rascal


Is let out.














“What are we going to do?” Asked Jessie “my stepfather might be killed!” she started panicking. “Tell the police?” asked Max. “No! If we want to save our father than if we tell the police they wont let us interfere.” Said Jake frowning. Max got angry. “Shut up Jake we shouldn’t interfere!” “Max, Jake is right we need to save your dad we can’t let the police do it! Anyway the police don’t know where they are, and right now I don’t either! The police are terrible anyway, this is the first time that there has been and murderous kindapper on the loose since I was born!” Bell said firmly. Everyone started shouting at each other and fighting. “EVERYONE! SHUT UP!” Alex roared. “We are losing time! Fighting is not the answer! First we will try save dad then if we can’t we will tell the whole town!” the other kids and teenagers started to nodd there heads. “we need to spy on them first but we need someone small that can fit between the gates. Because John locked them once we went out.”


“Now it is my time to shine!” a voice came from down the dark drippy alley. “Who was that?” Jessie asked. Geuss who came into sight this time? Caroline. “Caroline!” everyone shouted. “No your to young to join with us, its not like you do karate!” everyone giggled by the thought of that. “Oh really?” caroline showed everyone her medals for karate. She had proved them wrong. “Wow!” everyone shouted. “Now lets get to work!” Caroline shouted with a smile on her face. “Wait a minute.” One of the boys said. “Why would John just let us go? Wouldn’t he think that we would tell someone?” “We got to get out of here before he finds out we are here!” Another boy whispered. “To late!” It was John! The kids tried to run but he caught them all. Accept from Caroline that had seen him come out and right now was saving his stepfather.


She explaned that they couldn’t tell anyone and had to save the kids. “John has made a big deal out of leaving this island.” Caroline whispered “dad?” caroline saw that Steve was like a statue. She heard him whisper under his breath, “Alice.” Caroline was confused, “what about mum. Whats wrong with her?” Steve stopped being like a statue and shouted with a horrified face, “ALICE! John said he is going to hurt her! He knows where she is! We need to save her!” Caroline understood and at once they both ran to the hospital.


Steve ran to the counter. “Oh, hi Steve lovely day today, I am sorry about your divorce. Are you here for a app-“ “just be quiet! I have to see Alice! This is an emergency!” “I uh, well, um,” the women studdered. “Where is she!” Steve screamed. “Don’t shout! The lady whispered. Why are you here?” “It is an emergency please I need to see her!” “Ok, ok, calm down I saw a man walk out with her, he said his name was John Mclay, he was taking her out for a test or something, well, that’s what he said.” Steve and caroline had wide eyes. They ran out of the hospital. “What should we do?” Caroline cried. She had tears rolling down her cheek. Same with Steve.





DING, DING, DONG. It was time for everyone in the island to go somewhere of the island. Caroline and Steve had been looking for hours asking every person they saw. No sign. Everyone left. Accept from John Alice and the kids. They were here somewhere hiding. “What if mum is dead and brother and sister and friends?” Caroline wheeped. Steve lifted her up onto his shoulders to comfort her. But not only he comforted her he made her smile the biggest smile. The kids and Alice were in an alley hiding. “Dad! I see mum and others!” whispered Caroline merrily. Steve had also seen. They ran to each other and kissed and hugged. But Alice was quick to think. “We must get out of here! John was going to put a sleeping pill in me and drown me in water!” everyone started to frown. “Look there is the last ferry over there, we should catch it to the meeting. We are allready late! But while we are going there we need an excuse.” Said Alice. They quickly hopped onto the boat. Just as it was going to leave Steve said “wait! We can’t come back to this island, we need to go somewhere else. Lets go get the carand bring it with us so we can go somewhere. Kids stay here. Jake you look after them Alice and I will get the car.” The two ran off and got into the car. Steve was starting it up and Alice had a horrified face. “Steve? Steve? STEVE?!” screamed Alice. “What?!” Said Steve rising his head. “The chilrdren! The ferry!” Screamed Alice getting out of the car. Steve quickly looked. The ferry was leaving with the children. “John was the ferry driver!” shouted Steve they ran to the water. Steve jumped in so he could get to them but they were allready near the end. Steve swam back. The two were shouting for help. The kids were to. John took them off the boat. He had a big metal thing that was black and a square shape. The sun was shining off it. Suddenly they both realised. It was a BOMB.





Days later there was no sign of the kids or the townspeople. Steve and Alice collected all the keys for the cars just incase they needed someextra transport. Their were two keys for each car incase one was lost. They had made a raft and they floated to the other side when the water was calm and still. The sun gazed down on them. A car was parked on the other side. Steve opened the door and tried every key. Finally he found the right one. The car was a red Holden wit some brown mud on the bottom. Alice touched the car. “It has been here for a while the car is very hot.” The sun gazed down in the lovely blue lake. Alice and Steve got into the car. He turned it around and drove around the corner. Suddenly he stopped. The meeting house had blown up. There was black ashand the the lovely house with a bell on the front and swimming pool in the front turned into big ruins. The place was terrible. Suddenly they saw a note on a tree this is what it read: Dear Mom and Dad,we know


That you would come for us so we sneaked this writing and stuck it to a wall. John said something about, a dungeon. We don’t have much time so we will just give you these sums.


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My book the kidnappe?
my answer is it's nice to read and cool too ilike it star for you..
Reply:why did you post an entire book on the internet? It is wayyy ytoo long, and it is boring! You added extra characters in the second chapter that weren't there before like Bell and Alex. you elaborated on deatails too much, but didn't give toher needed info on characters. Also, you say Steve was Jess's stepdad in the second chapter, but her dad in the first. this book needs Majro editing!
Reply:i like it

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