I have never had a girlfriend - is it really that necessary?

I've been thinking a lot about suicide lately, and one of the reasons is that I feel that I'll never get a girlfriend. I burn with jealousy when I go out in public and see a man with his wife holding his kid. I was born with a syndrome that made my face very ugly and so I've never attracted that many women, not even in college. I now know that I'll never have a girlfriend, so I'll never get to hold hands, share a bed, eat dinner, have sex, etc. with a girl. No, I'm NOT an "attention-seeker", I just need someone to convince me that I don't need a girlfriend/wife to live a wonderful, meaningful life. Are there any DISadvantages to having a girlfriend? The only one that I can think of is that I get to spend my money on things like books (I'm a bookworm) and other luxuries instead of on a girl.

I have never had a girlfriend - is it really that necessary?
Dude women suck, you do not need a girl in your life to have a wonderful life. As a matter of fact it will be even better without any women. I love books as well.
Reply:how old are you? if girls dont find u attractive then they probably dont see the real you. I dont mean to sound like everyone else, but well you never know, you might just meet her. smile, have fun and take oppurtunities, thats how u meet new people. Best of luck. and no i cant think of many disadvantages cos i luv being around people
Reply:Before you could ever be happy with a girlfriend, you need to be happy with yourself. You find enjoyment in books, that's a good start. Join a book club(s).





There are MANY downsides to relationships. The feeling of being trapped. The loss of the freedom to do what you want, when you want. They are expensive. And all those people you see that make you jealous are putting their public faces on. They all have troubles at home. Some very serious, some that are just nuisances.





Now, I don't want to make light of your situation, or another's, but you can find companionship even if you aren't the most attractive. Is there a help group in your area for people with your affliction? A person with the same, or a similar, affliction will be less shallow about a physical appearance. I had a blind boyfriend once, and it was wonderful. I knew that we got along because we got along. He didn't overlook issues because he liked the way I look (not that he could like the way I look, but that's beside the point).





Find comfort in your friends. Do fulfilling work. Volunteer at the hospital. Volunteer to do tutoring at a women's shelter - they always need that. Being well read you could really help a woman who has escaped an abusive relationship to improve her station in life, get a good job, etc.





I could go on and on. There is so much more to life than relationships. While I am married to a wonderful man, I realize that he doesn't define my life. He enhances it, but he doesn't define it. I could just as easily get along by myself. Don't be down on yourself. People will adopt the attitude they have toward you from your attitude toward yourself.
Reply:Besides spending all your money, they talk your ear off, and probably end up nailing your best friend.





Your life is as meaningful as you want it to be, don't hurt yourself dude.
Reply:Girlfriends are great... but having meaningful friends are much better. Don't get me wrong, i love my girlfriend alot.... but i hate the arguements. then the fear of losing her.





especially if you two live together. you no longer get to do whatever you want. you need to find ways to please her and keep her happy... if you are single, there's no commitment to anyone but yourself and you can do whatever you want without any guilt.





yes the money issue too. every dollar you make is yours. there's no need for gifts for every damn holiday. valentines, christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.





its all how you look at it... theres good and bad points to everything. but think abotu this.... right now til the day you die, you have a chance of finding the perfect girl for you.... if you commit suicide, you'll NEVER find the perfect girl for you.
Reply:Hey! you are a smart and valued guy, don´t even think about suicide... It´s not the big deal not to have a girlfriend, in fact, you´d face many problems that you don´t have at this moment. So relax, focus your mind in other activities, like sports or anything that help to grow your spirit.
Reply:You sound like you are your own worst enemy. I've known very unhandsome men that never went without girlfriends or "playmates"...but they had something you don't have. Confidence (I sound like the Wizard of Oz...LOL!)





However, no it's not necessary to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and there are plenty of people on the planet that go through life w/o any romance of any kind. Just friends and/or family (if that) and live their life pursuing things that have meaning and pleasure for them.





Make your life what you want it to be. Not having what you want (or think you want), is NO reason for suicide.
Reply:Only you know what you need, but,if you can't live with something you can't change, then how can sombody else.
Reply:No, a girlfriend is not necessary, u know there are many other beautiful things in life than women, women are just women. u should explore many other things that life has to offer you, don't kill urself over something that isn't worth it, im not saying women are worth nothing since im a woman, but there's so many things in life that can complete you, today in society we think we need a mate just to be completely happy, but if you look further, it's really not necessarly true, later in life u know u might find someone special, but don't surround yourself with love songs or fake fantasy movies that only make you look down on yourself, Do something that really makes u happy, do something to help others be a good person, don't focus on only love, You can be something really great,it's not too late, life isn't really that predictable sometimes.
Reply:Dude, don't worry about it, most of the time girls are a ROYAL pain in the ***. And DEFINITELY not worth killing yourself over. You have to look at the brighter side of things, and who knows one day you might find a girl who's not shallow and likes you for who you are.





Or, you could buy a corvette (I hear those things work wonders)
Reply:Having a girlfriend can and be a wonderful part of your life. It's not the only thing in your life and won't be the last to replace the void you are feeling. It's the the outside appearance that counts anyway. One day when the timing of your life is right you will find a wonderful LADY who will love you for who you are on the inside. Are you a believer in Christ? For he promises that you can be filled with an everlasting peace and joy when we turn to him. He will over fill you every needs. I encourage you to find a close church or start reading John and Romans in the bible. All good things come to be-even girlfriends.
Reply:Find a good career and make a ton of money, you'll have all the girlfriends calling you handsome that you can stand.
Reply:dude you don't need a g/f just live life to it's fullest, take it from me I just got out of a very bad marriage %26amp; I was being controlled by my wife %26amp; all she wanted me to do was work %26amp; pay the rent while she cheated behind my back every day %26amp; all I wanted to do was spend time with her %26amp; I told her that I wanted to download 2 wall papers on my cell phone %26amp; she got pissed at me %26amp; I told her to go get screwed by her boy toy.
Reply:Hi David, here are my thoughts:





1) Please don't commit suicide because we would miss you on Yahoo Answers!





2) You must be depressed. You should see a doctor or counselor (maybe at your university they have free services for alumni?)





3) Is this need for a girlfriend a true, felt need? Or is it an unfelt need, like a need imposed from outside because "that's the way it is supposed to be"? Are you sure you would like to have a girlfriend or wife? Or is it that you are focusing on what is missing in your life?





4) You say a syndrome made your face very ugly and therefore you will never find a girlfriend. Girls at your current age may be looking for handsome guys only, but things may change in a couple of years... You may find a mature girl who will love you for what you are inside, even if you are not handsome.





5) For the reason above, you have to work on your inside, continue learning, develop social skills, etc.





6) Since you were born with this physical problem, you must be comfortable with your physical being, as it is part of your body image since you were born.





7) Now you need to become comfortable with who you are intellectually, psychologically, etc. and with what you do in life.





8) Paul Sivadon, a Belgian psychiatrist, said that "a man finds his identity in what he does" (in case this helps you).





9) Go to amazon.com (since you like to read) and run a search with the keyword "solitude". You may find very interesting books.





10) Oh, to answer your question, you may lead a fulfilling, happy life without a girlfriend/wife.





Viel Glück!
Reply:sweetie there is so much more to life then a girlfriend. enjoy life a live it for what it is worth. you don't need a girlfriend and if you want a kid there is always adopting. there is so much more to grate full for and there are people that will never be able to see from blindness, or ever walk, some that live on machines. you really need to take a second look at life
Reply:i think we are of a genetic makeup that pushes us to be social. i can understand that you are having a tough time, but in order to move forward and to have any kind of positive lifestyle you do need to work on your self esteem. you can do this through counseling. i watched a show the other day about people with unusual handicaps who got married. there was a lady with no legs who had to care for her Alzheimer's dad, a brother who is mentally retarded and violent and she met a guy who married her!! there was another guy ( a different show i think ) who was given a shot that accidentally went into his hip and somehow messed up his manhood and made it go up inside of him and he has been married for 4 years now... he has finally had some surgery to re-shape it but his wife took him as he was... all hope is not lost!!
Reply:Of course there are good points and bad points to having and not having a girlfriend, and like many guys I have experienced both. I can tell you definitively that having one versus not having one is no way to evaluate you own self worth. If you are considering suicide over not having someone else to validate your worth, you seriously need to take a deep look at yourself. You are the only you that you are ever going to have, so if you don't value yourself, nobody else will. If you act like you value yourself, people will view you in a much different light than if you are visibly unhappy with yourself.





Ask yourself this. How many time have you gone into public and seen a couple and thought 'How did HE get HER?' or what is SHE doing with a guy like THAT? The bottom line is different people are attracted to different types, and thank heavens for that! If you truly want someone, do what you think you have to do to get that someone. This will at least get you being proactive about the process, and more than likely will build the esteem necessary to attract yourself a girl, and you will have a whole new world of fun and problems to deal with. Never ever allow someone else to dictate your worth...
Reply:No, it's not a necessity to have a woman by your side to find happiness and contentment. They cost a great deal of money, heart ache, time, and attention.





You would have a better chance if they weren't so damned petty, materialistic, conceited and self absorbed. But hey, I've found that not all are like that, just most.





Besides, that's what prostitutes are for. If you have to spend your money on a woman you might as well get what you pay for. There's a lot less grief that way.
Reply:having a girlfriend is not that great...all my guy friends always have troubles with girls and most of the time i think they're better off without girls. as long as you have great friends whom u can hang out with...life is good





girlfriends always cause trouble and they're always ambiguous..they expect guys to do certain stuff and most of the time they don't even tell them. Sometimes girls even lead guys on!!! most of my guy friends even have been cheated on and i hate it when that happens cuz most girls don't know a great guy when they see one.





as a girl myself...sometimes i prefer hanging out with guy friends cuz it's less stressful and it's more laid back. girl's are so annoying...sorry if i'm insulting my own gender too much..but u got to admit..it's true most of the time...





so please don't be depress about not having a girlfriend...life isn't all about finding love...there's other and better things to do..go to the movies, joke around with friends, take trips! =]
Reply:C - YA - SOON !!!!!!!!!!
Reply:You don't need a girlfriend, but I'm SURE you can eventually get one, if you want one! If you are a gentleman, considerate, a good friend, and gerally have a good head on your shoulders, you can find a girl who will love you for YOU, no matter what you look like. There are girls of all shapes, sizes, values, etc. Not everyone is will blow you off just because of the way you look. Even if it takes a long time for you to find the right girl, in the meantime ... do what you love, spend your time and money experiencing life to the fullest the way YOU want to, making friends, etc. People need love and happiness, but a girlfriend is definately not the only way to find that. I know it hurts, or maybe you feel lonely, but even people who have someone still feel that way sometimes. I wish you the best!!! Be HAPPY! :-)